one day I'm like "i'm a diabetic watching my diet" then the next week I'm showing pictures of cupcakes and brownies I made. I didn't eat any of them. well, until tonight when I started trying to figure out what my photo of the day was going to be and I thought of how I didn't have any pictures of the cupcakes I decorated before.. so, I decided to try out my artistry in spare icing.
so, i have my webspace and a recycled layout.. I'm slowly building.. one. step. at. a time.
I really should be going to bed. in 16 days I will be 29. I decided I'm celebrating the whole month or as long as I can get people to carry on with me. To start my birthday month off, I baked cupcakes and brownies to share with all the folks I plan on partying it up with for the next *at least* 20 days. I know on the 20th I'm going to go to Hershey Park.
But I am getting ahead of myself. so, since, I can't let you taste the goodness, I'll let you see the product before it was finished... i made them with cherry frosting and the brownies are cheesecake swirl.
so, I'll be updating this for a little bit as I find a new webhost which I need to do by July 1. I think I already know which service I want to go with, but I'm not going to say it's definite so that I can carry on my procrastination and not work on a layout or anything of that nature.
I think God is telling me to take a break.
2 days after writing my last post, I woke up sick thinking it was from me drinking more liquor than I should of when I went out. I prayed to God to let me stop throwing up. I woke up Sunday feeling better. I even decided to test out commitment by buying a cellphone. I'm in a two year relationship... ooooo... and it's a good thing i got insurance in this relationship because within less than a month, my cellphone got ran over by a car. so i'm on phone 2 in 22 days. It's a cool phone though.. I have an LG env 2. I'm really diggin' it. That's weird for me to say since I used to be so anti-cellphone.. but it has proved convenient.
Anyhoo, I woke up the Monday and the throwing up was back. I can't explain the pain I had in my lower right belly.. I knew it wasn't normal... I finally broke down and went to the hospital.. I have diabetes yall. I never knew how much diabetes affects until I had to go through this diabetes info time while in the hospital.. so many freaking signs that I never knew. like my dry skin and feeling like the water was never hot enough and i did notice that where I used to be hot all the time, I was always feeling like it was drafty. I sat in the hospital for 6 days before being released.
Needless to say I've changed my diet and am on medicines which seem to take away my brain power but I guess that's good. I always say I overthink.. I was kind of upset. I grew out of my asthma and am taking on a new disease. It was weird though, when I couldn't keep anything down I was like I wish I was having an asthma attack, at least I would know what to do, or how to lay, or how I could relax myself. I'm telling yall, I am blessed.. more than once in my life I've had someone say they can't believe I'm alive. My doctor at the hospital said that if i didn't come in when I did, it could of attacked my kidneys.. I'm telling you, God must of kicked that pain in for that very reason because hello, this chick does NOT have insurance and if the pain wasn't getting me the way it was, I would NOT of went when I did.
So, yeah, I'm a diabetic. I mostly cut out sugars/low carbs and in 3 weeks I've lost 7 pounds. I keep trying to explain to people that's not the goal.. My diet is for lowering my sugar levels. then why did I mention it? Because it's amazing to me that cutting out mostly sugars I unintentionally lost weight..
well, that's all for now.
and for folks talking about email *cough*FENNIX*cough* I forgot my password so all my contacts and all that are lost with it.. i had some ridiculous clue for the hint thinking I was clever, but i proved too clever for my dang self.. so, i'm glad some of yall are hiding here... i'll definitely get in touch
but now.. i must walk the moo moo!
What is vox and this thing you calleth updating?
I play this song only because I am NO LONGER UNEMPLOYED..
Thank You, God!
Despite recent posts, I'm still in love with the concept of love. I just have to say that this song is probably in my top 10 of all time favorite songs. I've been listening to it like crazy since yesterday. Just because I think it's amazing.
I've been looking for work, nothing yet.
I was actually thinking of leaving the 'net, i saw no reason for me to put so much energy into something that seems like it bears no fruit. BUT, you know what I realized? well, what was brought to my attention by a buddy of mine. While I was complaining he said to me, "if it's important to you, then it can't be worthless" ain't that the gotdang truth and it makes so much sense.
Another associate of mine told me as I was wearing my pity party suit, "don't take this wrong but you have to do something besides sit under this dark cloud, do something about it, you talk a lot but you're not showing anything"
yeah, i got broke down in a good way. I do realize that I would rather complain about my life then change and I'm always the first one to encourage others to run after their dreams. I was about to run off a list of excuses as to why it's different for me.. but when I start off calling what I'm about to say an excuse.. it's not even worth elaborating.
I'm working on a plethora of things.
I just wanted to share these stories on my vox so that I can tell someone else that even when it seems like it's not worth the time.. if it's something you enjoy or are passionate about you should DO IT.
Everytime I build a website or make a graphic or write a poem, whenever I'm about to share I always say this to myself OUTLOUD "I DO IT BECAUSE I LOVE IT, NOT FOR THE LOVE" because sometimes I find that people are only doing things FOR the love and attention and if you base everything on how much feedback you get or how much people tell you what a great thing you did.. you'll always be disappointed.
at this time, I realize, I REFUSE TO GIVE UP on ANYthing I like doing, no matter how many folks question or criticize. It's not about validation.. it's about sharing what is dear to your heart.
I am off to watch DAN IN REAL LIFE and organize some things.
Good Morning.
I have a lot going on, but if the kind of "a lot going on" that I don't really want to talk about it because I'm experiencing it so much. I think I'm going to go watch a movie and pretend that it's my reality. I'm such an escapist, I'd rather live in unreality than put up with the real-ity.
I've been waiting anxiously for February 26 because it was the release of another album by my wife and Erykah Badu. I've yet to listen to either one and they are sitting still in their plastic wrappers staring at me in disbelief. Maybe I'm scared I'm going to be disappointed. These are 2 artists I count on.
Have a good weekend and God Bless.
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DejaVudoo said:
Sorry to hear about your loss. I have had a pet die, another that I had to give up as... read more
on R.I.P Tige!
on 16 days